well lets see, i have NO clue what me and ryans status is

i couldnt stand my life without walter and im back together with him but SO confused because all i want is ryan...im in love with two ppl and its awful :-\

i guess everything will work itself out.

but now, some lyrics to clear up EXACTLY what i feel for ryan...

Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
You don't really need me
But you keep me hangin' on

Why do you keep a coming around
Playing with my heart?
Why don't you get out of my life
And let me make a new start?
Let me get over you
The way you've gotten over me

Set me free, why don't cha babe
Let me be, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
Now you don't really want me
You just keep me hangin' on

You say although we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again
And there ain't nothing I can do about it

Woo, set me free, why don't cha babe
Woo, get out my life, why don't cha babe
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe

You claim you still care for me
But your heart and soul needs to be free
Now that you've got your freedom
You wanna still hold on to me
You don't want me for yourself
So let me find somebody else Hey!

Why don't you be a man about it
And set me free
Now you don't care a thing about me
You're just using me
Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on...

well surprise surprise me and ryan hung out tonight. i tell myself i shouldnt do it but i cant say no, he is a huge part of my life and the boy i will ALWAYS love. we hung out tonight and my heart s always at its happiest with him. all the sorrow, heartbreak, and looniness ive felt lately just doesnt exist when im with him. hopefully, like i always find myself hoping for, we will get back together. theres a reason we cannot let eachother go and a reason we keep drifting back to one another, im just hoping we make something of it.

maybe things are looking up

well the heart ache just gets worse. rob has still ignored me, he may have found someone new. it just hurts so bad and im so confused. how can people be so inconsiderate. jeff is a really nice guy and we still always talk but i feel like maybe he just wants to be friends, i think he way too hot for me. i just feel so alone. i went from having so many guys at my feet, to everyone disappearing and now im alone. starting tomorrow its gonna be a new me. im gonna follow this schedule ive laid out for myself, im going to get serious, start to work out, work on my school work, and get my life together. never agin will another guy walk out on me, im getting myself and my life into shape. its time. im fed up with feeling hurt, i wanna feel whole and happy and by starting this schedule i will be on my way to achieving happiness.

wish me luck! i know i can do this. im starting my new life. here i go.